10-05-2010 Journal Entry
“I slept most of the day (until dinner)…more like pseudo sleep where I would wake, lay there, sleep again. I find that I am happiest when I day dream about everything being how it should have been. I slip into sleep wrapped in thoughts of being content and happy in my life with Grace as a supportive, loving, affectionate helpmate…Then I wake up and start rebuilding my day dream again. I think perhaps this is how insanity starts?”
10-06-2010 Journal Entry
“I spent the day in the same fashion as yesterday…lay there, sleep, wake, lay there some more. I found Michner’s “Chesapeake” on the book cart last night. Even reading that didn’t stimulate me enough to rouse…maybe tomorrow. I am still having bowel trouble, only going twice a week. Is that Ok since I am not eating much? Speaking of eating, I am getting used to the food and quantities; feeling full after meals. I’ve also found that almost anything can be mixed with grits and cream of wheat, but not oatmeal. I lost ½ hour of day room (1 hour a day is all we get) because it was too loud this morning. Not that anyone was yelling, but 162 men in a large cavernous room, talking to their cellie does tend to equal a dull roar.”
10-07-2010 Journal Entry
“I slept till lunch (10am), then read. Tola (from M14 at ____) has arrived at RDU. He’s still lying about his charges and now his sentence (he has Jessica’s Law and most likely 25-life). I don’t see why he does this when he knows very well my charges. It does not encourage a friendship.”
10-08-2010 Journal Entry
“I was called out with several others this AM to sign papers. I had a bit of a scare when I saw that charges were written bold face on the paper and we were signing on a common desk. I lagged behind so as to be the last to sign. It seemed to me that my charges were more pronounced than any others. Mr. Rooney, the CO who oversaw this, responded to my query about advisability of displaying my charges to all with “a lot of people to push through; too many to worry about you.” This was the first open hostility that I can recall. I got my 2nd TB test ADM!
I got a letter from mom (dated 10-5-10). Most was heartening but as usual, the topic of my children is getting worse and worse. Now it seems that Sunday is once again shacking up with a boy “fiancée” and Monday has prevailed in moving back to ______ to shack up with her boyfriend. Grace has actually signed over custody to his (the boyfriend’s) grandmother. I started writing a return letter and will finish over the weekend, perhaps Tuesday, on the chance that a reply to my desperate letter arrives.”
momofaninmateson 