Tag Archives: guilt

“It Is Wrong to Jump to Conclusions For It’s a Long Cold Swim Back”

Posted on May 4, 2015 by momofaninmateson

4-01-2011 Journal Entry I have a new cellie, a Mexican guy, young…he seems nice enough. 4-02-2011 Journal Entry I slept most of the day again. I need to stop that. My new cellie is quiet…that’s a good thing. I worked … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged "Gone With the Wind", Dianetics and Scientology, guilt, In prison easier to ignore reality, letters from family while in prison, Oxen-Handcarts and Mormon Saints, The dangers of low self-esteem | Leave a comment

“I Really Need to…Write In My Journal More Often!”

Posted on March 13, 2015 by momofaninmateson

3-14-2011 Journal Entry Today is the law suit hearing. I should hear from the court Wednesday that I have lost. Ah well, it doesn’t matter now. I finished reading “Believing Christ”, one of the books mom sent to me last … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged "Believing Christ", "Swing Low, “The Miracle of Forgiveness" by Spencer W. Kimball, General Conference, Gluttony, guilt, Interest in Religion, Joseph F.Smith's Gospel Doctrine, Law Suits, LDS General Authorities, repentance, sorrow, Stephen Richardson, Sweet Chariot" | Leave a comment

“I Spent as Much Time Today as I Could in the Library. I Think I Have Found My Sanctuary”

Posted on January 1, 2015 by momofaninmateson

2-3-2011 Journal Entry Work was good. I like my new home & hope that I get to stay there for a very long time. At lunch today, there were a number of new guard trainees out in “the gambit”. One … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Apostles, Blessings, Dreams, Fantasy, forgiveness, Gifts of the Spirit, God, guilt, Jesus Christ, Library, Lust, marriage, Masturbation, Mennonites, Obsession, prayer, Scripture, Spanish, Super Bowl, Work | Leave a comment

“Mom, Please Tell Me What To Do!”

Posted on October 29, 2014 by momofaninmateson

1-16-2011 Journal Entry Again, I slept till supper and finished my letter to mom. She sent me an email. She tells me that she and dad will come to my hearing (law suit) though she would like me to send … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Christ, Christians, Crossroads Prison Ministries, Debt, Encyclopedia Of Mormonism 1992, Faith in God, guilt, Law Suits, Mormonism, Power of Attorney, Tax Write Offs | Leave a comment

“All I Wanted in the World Was to Hold Her and Tell Her I Am Sorry”

Posted on September 13, 2014 by momofaninmateson

12-21-2010 Journal Entry Lunar eclipse on a full moon on winter equinox…I am told in some places it was blood red. Cool! 2 years till the end of the world!! At non-denom tonight, McCleery got up to say how much … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged "Our Heritage", "Our Search for Happiness", "The Sword of Truth", "True to the Faith", "Wheel of Time" series, Christmas, Eclipses, forgiveness, guilt, Holy Bible, Jesus the Christ, LDS Church, love, Mennonite Church, Omnipotence, scriptures, sorrow, Tempers, Work | Leave a comment

“Dad, I Got Your Letter Today! Thank You”

Posted on June 27, 2014 by momofaninmateson

{Editors Note: This letter is in response to the letter written by Dad on 10-17-2010 and posted to my blog on June 23, 2014. Now that our son has been placed in his long term residence, he seems to us … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Abandonment, Awakenings, Dominoes, Exercise, God, guilt, James Michener, Listening, Politics, Probation, Recognition, Siblings, Temple Worthiness, Weight Loss, Work | Leave a comment

Two Letters From Home

Posted on June 23, 2014 by momofaninmateson

10-17-2010 Letter from Dad Dear Son, I know it’s been too long since I last wrote and am repenting. I read your last two letters again with the intent of commenting on what you had to say and just enjoyed … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Adversity, Book of Mormon, C.S.Lewis, Childhood Experiences, Correspondence, Eternal Love, family, Fathers, God, Gratitude, guilt, James A. Michener, Joseph Smith, Letters, Navy, prayer, prison, Relationships | Leave a comment

The Sentencing Hearing

Posted on May 2, 2014 by momofaninmateson

{Editors Note: My next entry from my son’s journal (which will be posted tomorrow) depicts his thoughts about the result of his sentencing hearing. May I remind my readers that there was no trial to determine his innocence or guilt. … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged abuse, anger, confession, depression, family, Father, Granddaughters, guilt, Innocence, love, Manipulation, mistakes, Molestation, pain, Prison time, Promises, PTSD, Respect, Self-worth, Sentencing, Statements, Suffering, Therapy, Trust, victims | Leave a comment

“My Birthday! Bah Humbug!”

Posted on March 30, 2014 by momofaninmateson

7-22-2010 Journal Entry “I talked to my attorney today and told her of my decision. She seems much relieved and I feel much better too, though very scared. She tells me that, if my dilemma is not wanting to plea … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Aggravated Indecent Liberties, Ambrosia, Arraignment, Birthday, Criminal Sodomy, forgiveness, guilt, HIV, Mountain Dew, Pioneer Day, Plea "Alfred's", Reading Glasses, Tantrum | Leave a comment

“I Wonder How it Jives That I am Both ‘Manipulative’ and an ‘In Your Face Control Freak'”

Posted on March 14, 2014 by momofaninmateson

7-07-2010 Letter To Mom and Dad “Thank you so much for writing again; somehow I knew you would, so I waited up for mail call and was not disappointed. You mentioned my comment about moral support being all I can … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged confession, Control, Court Trial, Family Pictures, Financial Support, guilt, justice, Loyalty, Manipulation, Moral support, Plea Deal, Propaganda, Self-Destruction, victimization | Leave a comment

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